Funny Facebook Statuses To Post

In the modern world what we live in, most of people use the Internet and all of the benefits it brings with. One of the most adored and used sides of the Internet is social media platforms. Arguably the most widespread and popular one is Facebook, which has been a craze for the users for more than a decade. Simple to use and navigate, a Facebook profile has basically become like an online ID through which the people from around the world can find you and contact you.
If you do not have a profile, you could actually be at a disadvantage with so many things in the world, most notably contacts, news, entertainment, and even education.

One of the best options for Facebook is that it allows you to write down a status. In a designated space, you are free to a writ or share whatever is on your mind. Many people use this side of Facebook to write the things they are happy or dissatisfied with, as well as try to appeal to someone or something, or help.
Others simply like to update their family and friends on what they are up to. However, there is another group that strictly does it for fun, and they make up clever, witty, and funny statuses to make their Facebook friends laugh. In this article, we will check out 100 of funny statuses found on Facebook.

The easiest way to double your money is to fold it.
What is common in politicians and diapers? Both need to change regularly.
Do not argue with an idiot, as they will beat you with their experience.
Marriage is similar to go to a restaurant, order something, and then looks at the nearby table, and I wish you would order that.
Money cannot buy happiness. It pays for the internet, which is the same thing.
If you are reading this, be happy you know how to read.
You know what; the zoo is the best place to fart.
Facebook is a fridge. When you are alone, you open it to see if there is anything there.
Doctors checked my brain. On the left side, nothing is right. On the right side, there is nothing left.
I am not 40 years old, as I am only 18 with 22 years of experience.
To workout, first, turn your head to the left then turn it to the right. Repeat this until you get anything to eat from either of the two sides.

There is no logic in why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
Facebook should really have 'no one cares about' option too.
Facebook is like a prison because you write on its walls.
Facebook must have an enemy list too.
Paul likes animals. The sweet and sour chicken.
I am quitting Facebook to face my book.
Facebook, suggested friends are the people I am trying to avoid intentionally.
Behind every successful status, there is a Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V.
The first five days after the weekend are tough.
Food is a vital part of a balanced diet.
Without candy crush, I am a kid with no candy.
9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is stupid.
Mosquitoes are like family as they suck blood.
WTF is WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook, and the content there proves it.
I liked my neighbors until they put a new password on their Wi-Fi.
Do not get fit. Pray to God to make your friends fat.
If you cannot find the key to success, pick the lock.
Save paper and never do your homework.
Why do stores have a lock on their doors although they are open 24/7?
When I find the key to success, someone will alter the lock.
I am not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Save water by drinking a beer.
I keep wondering when dogs assume it's for them when someone rings the door.
Finally, I decided to burn loads of calories, so I got a fat kid and set him on fire. That's all.
I dare you to say this out loud and fast; U R 2 6 C I 1 2 4 Q U.
Sometimes I know I should shut up but the other time, I don't know when to.
My girlfriend and I are inseparable. Sometimes, it even takes five or six people to pull us apart.
I only wake early when I can't hold my pee any longer.
I am still wondering how my parents spent their first part of life teaching us to walk and talk and the other half trying to sit us down and shut up.
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
The chick at this circus just swallowed a sword and I saw a guy elbow his woman like "see?…"
The biggest benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don't have to do laundry for another week or two.
Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman is her heart. The fact that her boobs are in front of her heart is not our fault.
When does hibernation start? Because I'm 100% participating in that!!

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend. Here, hold him."
I went outside once, the graphics were ok, but the gameplay sucks!
Some people will never admit their faults. I would if I had any.
Before I die I'm going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
Good morning people of my country, tell me, what are we offended by today?
Be with a "have you eaten yet?" Type of boy.
I don't trust girls because girls spelled backward is slrig, and that makes no sense.
If cheat on your partner 90 times, you will only get caught 45 times because of Sin 90 = Cot 45.
Dear mathematics, please grow up and find your own damn X.
I am not lazy, I am just saving energy.
Google is for my mind, anti-virus should be installed for my heart.
If you fail to convince, try to confuse them.
Eat, exercise, but you will die anyhow.
Round is a shape. Therefore, I am in shape.

The exercise I do is 'running out of money.'
Teachers name it cheating. Friends call it teamwork.
Crying? Grab a tissue. We do not need it on Facebook.
I wish to have someone so that I can blame as my wife does.
On Facebook, you can talk to a wall.
The world is great. Until you wake up.
Love marriage, it is like dancing in front of the snake and asking it to bite you.
Never let your friends alone. Disturb them always.
I wish common sense to be more common.
When you die, the others around you suffer. Same when you are stupid.
After Tuesday, the calendar screams WTF. No surprise there.
Whenever it is a long story, it means they don't want to tell you.
I take my irresponsibility seriously.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in large part by Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Looney Tunes.
For once I would like to get kicked into a bar, please!

Source: pinterest.com
People don't want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
Your posts are going viral, just like herpes.
Elevator music bothers me on many levels
If the Earth is flat, then my belly is as well.
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
Talking louder is not how you win an argument, and it never will be.
The I before E except after C rule has been disproven by science.
Seems like I picked the wrong week to an adult.
Always buy your girlfriend flowers for Valentine's Day, but also remember your wife.
It is better to have three at once two times than none at once three times.
How to make a millennial laugh? Tell them you have only 22 photos of your entire childhood.
I hope the next big trend in any form of art is genuine talent and quality.
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."

Nothing is illegal if you do not get caught.
I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) They see me rolling, they hating.
Have you ever noticed that it's impossible to make pinching your elbow hurt?
Balloons are so weird. "Happy birthday, here is a plastic sack full of my breath."
If you think things can't get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
I feel like doing something today, so I am going to sit here until it passes.
I dream of a better world, where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their motives.
Serenity now, and insanity later.